2013 coming to an end

Hello again. It's been a while. Are we still friends?

When I started my blog I had many reasons. I had to revisit my reasons to see if they were still there. Or may be they had changed into something else. I'm still not sure. When I earlier today summarised 2013 as a year of hard work and important decisions, I can't say that I have made a decision regarding my blog.

To be or not to be? Well, in cyberspace, everything survives somwhere I'm sure. A bientôt.

Second stop this morning

First stop: teaching the morning yoga class.

Second stop: favourite breakfast place and preparing for today's coaching session.

Expecting seven different stops before the end of today.

Now they are everywhere

Much appreciated, much longed for, seemingly later than usual but we forgive their late arrival.

Two of three

My second and third goddaughter playing in the park. If my first goddaughter was here too she would probably be drinking a latte next to me. 15, 6 and 1. All charming.

May be it's meant to be

Yoga in the US for two weeks this summer? On the west coast, somewhere  north of LA. I've been talking about going to the US for so long, especially the west coast, and I've also wanted to go on a retreat with an American instructor to get new inspiration and input. Talk without action. All of a sudden the opportunity was presented to me. May be this is the coincidence that is meant to be? May be it's time for action.

My favourite place on earth

Today's bargain

Sometimes you find it in the cheap shop. The dress that is. The belt cost ten times the dress when I got it on the summer sale. From the posh shop. But together they complement each other and all in all the price for the outfit is pretty normal. That is before adding the shoes and the bag...

Waiting

Some days you just want something nice to happen. I mean some days you need it more than others. A happy surprise, a feeling of being in the fast lane, a dream coming true. Today is one of those days. As I'm still waiting I've decided to take off to the yoga studio. Might as well practice being present while waiting.

Afterwork walk

So needed! Replacing thoughts of work with just thoughts while the spring air is filling my lungs.

Being on time

I love having a few minutes to spare. Being a tiny step ahead of things makes such a big difference. Collecting the thoughts, breathing. And of course enjoying a perfectly made coffee with myself before the breakfast meeting starts.

Far away from my comfort zone

There I was. At a dinner party where seventy-five percent of the guests were Iranian women in their late forties to mid fifties. Or as I found out later, even late fifties, but she was stunning. Whatever she had, it made her blossom with beauty and vitality.

The other twenty-five percent consisted of two Swedish engineers (men) and an Iranian man working for the municipality. And me.

In a suburb where I haven't been since I practiced for my driving licence, in a flat of an unknown woman, at a dinner table where Persian and Swedish were mixed like bubble and squeak.

They were ever so nice, polite and sweet. They had all left their country in the political turmoil at the beginning of the nineties to come to Sweden and start a new life here. All women were nurses working in the elderly care or as school nurses. They all had more or less grown up children. They all seemed extremely happy to be in Sweden, grateful for a society where freedom and democracy are gifts we take for granted. You could argue that this would be one of the most interesting evenings I have experienced in a long time.

However, it didn't help. I felt so uncomfortable. I didn't belong. I missed my friends, my familiar surroundings and conversations. 
 
And then I thought, this is what it must have been like for my English friends when I lived in London and when we went out in big groups of people where the majority would be Swedes. We happily chatted along (mixed Swedish and English), did what we always did, felt at ease with one another and welcomed the few Brits who joined in, without judgement.

When I finally excused myself (after the beautiful woman who was fifty-eight had left), it was a relief to have my car outside the block and to make my way back to familiar territories. Today I have struggled to leave my flat at all, it's like I need to be in my home to let the familiarity surround every pore of my skin. 

Is this how I am now? A conformable Swede with a narrow outlook, looking for my male replica to merge into an even more conformable unit? Yes, may be. And then we can together explore and invite cultures and diversity into our lives. But the ones who are closest to me need to understand where I come from and who I am. Birds of a feather... or something.

(No, I never really understood how the two Swedish engineers had made it in to this circle of friends...)

From minus to plus

Finally spring on the balcony. Weather forcast promises a temperature above zero for the coming days and following tradition I did made my favourite visit of the year to the garden centre. Now the balcony is ready for coffee and rosé.

An urge for a certain friend

Although I live in the city I rarely take advantage of it during the weekend. Yesterday was therefore an unusual Saturday when I made my way downtown. First to attend a class with a new concept (developed by my childhood friend), later to meet up with Charming J. And in between some window (yes window) shopping.

All friends play a different part in your life, I'm sure it's the same for everybody. Some of my friends I don't see very often, but then I get an urge. There is something I'm longing for, something I'm missing. A gap that needs to be filled, a part of me that needs to be topped up. And hopefully this is mutual (otherwise I'm suspecting we wouldn't be friends in the first place...).

So when I last week got this urge it was Charming J that I missed and yesterday we met up for a coffee that lasted much longer than it stayed warm. We had the most lovely conversation filled with honesty, concerns, happiness and life in general. As always she gave me new interesting aspects on things currently occupying my mind: running my own business, family and love. And my own personality - how some sides seem to take over in certain situations. We even touched politics (Charming J is probably my most knowledgeable friend in this area and certainly miles ahead of me). Slowly the energy and positivity grew in an up-going spiral. There is something with her outlook and attitude that fills you with inspiration and hope.

One of my lovely friends. Even if months pass by between our get-togethers, it's always uncomplicated and rewarding when we meet. Best Saturday afternoon in a long time. 

Friday treat

One of many. An afternoon at the hairdresser's. Extra long session as he is practicing a new technique for curls. Love the pampering!

One small step...

One of my first best friends ever writes a blog. She was always into gymnastics and sports, so I wasn't surprised when I found out that she is in the fitness industry today. She is running her own business to develop new concepts and to inspire people to a healthier and more active life.

Some time ago she wrote a blog post on dreams. How important it is to never let go of your dreams. Her trick was to spend some time, I think fifteen minutes or so, each day to take a small step to get closer to her dreams. I think everybody has fifteen minutes. The question is if you know what your dreams are?

May be a career change?  A small step could be to spend fifteen minutes researching job adverts or recruitment consultants.  Or may be book a lunch with someone who has the career you aspire to have. Most people enjoy talking about their jobs. And who knows what happens next.

May be a healthier life style? Try a new recipe for a smoothie, adding some spinach and parsley. Or take a ten minutes walk at lunch time. Could be easier than booking an appointment with a personal trainer and stop eating chocolate full stop... Perhaps the ten minutes walk increases to fifteen or twenty minutes? And eventually to a run?

May be more love? Could looking into someone's eyes and smile be a first step to open up for the possibility that next time the person you are looking at is someone you actually end up talking to a little bit longer? May be that person has a friend who is even more interesting?

I know it may sound basic and may be even ridiculous. I don't know, but I believe in the concept of focusing your mind on what you want more of rather than complaining about everything that is not the way you want them to be. Even if you sometimes need to let off steam, don't let the steam off-load steal time from your fifteen minutes walk towards your dreams.

Snapshots from the Easter weekend

Julia

Fourteen years of unconditional love. A painful farewell filled with grief and tears. When I looked into her eyes I saw exceptional wisdom and kindness in a dog soul that is now released to something else. Her memory will always be in our hearts. I'm so grateful I could be with her when she left.

Lift spotting

One difference between St Anton and Lech: in Lech Chanel has clearly identified a target audience.

A sight for sore eyes

The power of mountains.

Pooh and Piglet

Birthday girl

Guess who?

Country weekend

Coming my way

I started my on line shopping this morning looking for a Burberry trench coat. Inspired by an article on the Burberry brand, how the (female) CEO turned a neglected UK brand into something desireable through a couple of well implemented strategies. All of a sudden I just felt that everybody should have at least one Burberry trench coat in their closet.

Although the sterling is favorable right now, I realised this is a bit of an investment that takes more consideration than a couple of clicks. So... to be continued.

But I still had a shopping urge to attend to. Chosing between the Burberry London fragrance and the coffee table book on Kate Moss (both within my clickable shopping boundaries) I went for the latter.

Nine out of ten

A manicure where nine out of ten nails look just fine and then there is one which is smudged. Can you enjoy the lovely nail polish on the nine nice looking nails? No. They all get contaminated by the smudge.

Just like life. Why is it so hard to enjoy everything that is good? The brain is wired to search for smudge, enlarge it and allow it to contaminate the rest.

Mission (with the risk of sounding like a saviour): see through the contamination and explore how fantastic life really is. Smudged nail polish is not the end of the world. It's just a distraction trying to pull your attention from what really matters.

What's in your iPhone?

The feeling of waking up on a Saturday morning, free to do anything you like. Almost. The morning run (if that was an option) has to wait as the temperature is now down to minus thirteen.

A well known fact is my pottering fetish. Nothing spectacular, but just a simple pleasure of moving things around in the flat... Or this morning I happened to go through my iPhone to find all sorts of random notes in the Notes feature. In no particular order, this is what I found:

E Guigal, Cote de Rhône, 2009
A tip from my partner in leadership development, also friend and previous coach. And wine expert. This is a red wine from a good year which also happens to be very affordable.

Marc Jacobs Bookmarc, 56 South Audley Street
A place to visit next time in London...

Airbnb.com
A tip from favourite hairdresser who always has a trip booked somewhere with his partner. This is where I will find the perfect accommodation for a trip to NY. When it happens.

Deuter, Garden of the Gods
An old note that has been executed. Still one of my favourite albums for yoga. Listening to this is like entering a place inside of you that is always there but sometimes difficult to find.

And then this:
"We were all created out of love but born into separation the moment the cord was cut. That's what it is to be human. Heartbreak is not the end of love. It's the beginning."
I can't remember where I got it from, but this morning I found it again and felt the need to capture it here. Whoever wrote it made it through; surrendered to the pain to experience love anew.

One day soon...

...this park will be green and filled with flowers. But first a weekend with a weather forecast of minus fourteen. We are approaching five months of winter. It must be worth it, otherwise all Swedes would emigrate.

Does it really work?

How does acupuncture work? Seemingly needles in the skin at random spots. Front goes first, back goes second. Fortyfive minutes later the system is balanced. So they say. I don't know, but I believe them. Or him. The man who I trust to know the points of focus, the man who carefully and with precision penetrates my skin with needles. Sometimes many, sometimes only a few.

It's a little bit like flying in an airplane. I happily enter the plane and trust it works, but I don't really understand how. 

It's never the same

Different room. Unfamiliar faces. Not knowing what they are used to. Pitching at a level without being able to read the reactions. Was this too difficult? Too hard? Too slow? Or just right?

Filling in for a fellow yoga instructor is never the same as teaching my own classes. In my classes I know that people are there by choice. They know what to expect, more or less, they know my style and they return. The feedback is immediate during the class as well as after. We have established rapport to the grade that one participant came to me after class one morning to say that she didn't appreciate having the soundtrack of Twin Peaks as part of the yoga playlist. The same participant expresses her wishes in terms of themes and she takes the opportunity to ask for advice in her practice. The same goes for a number of regulars.

That doesn't happen with a group who is somebody else's. And I realise how important the dialogue with the group is for my motivation to teach. Tomorrow I'm back in my room, with familiar faces who will inspire my continuous teaching.

Back

Yes, I'm back. From somewhere. On my way to somewhere else. In transit but still in the middle of something. Then you need a good breakfast to really enjoy and appreciate the moment.

Encouragement

A positive affirmation from a positive friend who has managed to reboot. From a very unhappy place, she is now in a happy place. That is in a new house and seemingly in love. So she is sending some of her positive energy my way.

A new friend?

Among the people Facebook suggests I may know I find Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. An English socialite and "it girl". Not sure who or what we may have in common, apart from being born in the same year. Facebook intelligence works in mysterious ways...

Sign of spring

The colour this spring according to Chanel is...

LaChapelle

An amazing exhibition filled with nudity, religious reminders and famous people in a colourful mixture. Beautiful and disgusting at the same time.

When half of the city is on midterm break I'm taking advantage of the city's cultural offers. Together with my maternity-break-friends.

Working from the bar

Sometimes you just need a Coke. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does just surrender.

From The top five regrets of the dying

"It is so easy to think that happiness depends on something falling into place, when it is the other way around. Things fall into place when happiness is already found."

The book* is filled with so many wisdoms that some of them get lost. But this one stood out and I read it over and over again.

(* "The top five regrets of the dying" by Bronnie Ware)

What to wear to the office?

Having worked from home all day in my tracksuit bottoms I feel an urge to dress up. Something like this perhaps? Saint Laurent blazer with a slim pair of jeans. And of course high heels. Browsing between the more affordable auction site Tradera and the less so site Net-A-Porter. The quality of the photos and the prices differ slightly. Guess where this is from?

Champagne coming up!

For no particular reason. Just meeting up with the lovely couple who once more has included me on their weekly date night. If I have been complaining about Swedish conformity, they are not part of it. I love their story and how they have chosen to live their lives. It shows that anything is possible and you never really know what may happen. Or how you will feel about tomorrow.

So tonight we are out; three women and one man. The man is obviously taken. Seems to be the theme of my life at the moment. Nevertheless, I'm sure he will be the perfect gentleman and look after all of us. Cheers!

Checking in

Time for yoga. My yoga. Lovely to top up the energy while receiving technical updates and everyday philosophy from my head teacher.

Instead of

Or in addition to coffee: fresh ginger-lemon-honey tea.

A treat when working from home.

Where is it?

The inspiration to write is gone. The inspiration to do anything outside my flat is also far-fetched. We live in a tough climate which impacts us more than we think. If only it was sunny and warm. Or at least sunny. A constant grey haze, sometimes filled with an unpleasant mix of snow and rain. This is why all Swedes are so appreciative of the (real) spring and summer as we then finally get out of our zombie like lifestyle.

Having said that, two social highlights coming up. Drinks with network colleagues, including favourite coach, tomorrow and cultural evening out with lovely friends who have included me on their dating night on Thursday. I can almost taste the champagne as I think of them.

Pretending I'm abroad

Morning coffee in the foodhall, observing all the stands preparing for a new day. If I ignore the fact that nobody speaks French, I feel like I'm in Paris as I'm facing the cheese stand.

And yes, I have the travel bug.

May be

Every year around this time it's the same. I want to re-new something in my home. This year I'm into new fabrics for chairs and couch. Or cushions. This is one option for my cushion collection.

Inspiration and hope

Grey, wet, windy... Can't enjoy winter and spring is still far away. So let's just pause for a moment and seek inspiration elsewhere.

This is what I'm dreaming of:

A trip to New York...

A party...

...where I can wear something like this...




A romantic weekend in a hotel with a view and a big bed...

I'm hooked

Who would have thought that the Turkish thriller series would be my telly highlight? Every weekday, thirty new minutes are released. It's not only because the Turkish ladies wear high heels in the snow mod (although it is part of the attraction), it's a pretty well designed story. I'm also amazed by the fact that a majority of the actors don't have brown eyes. I admit I have fallen into the trap of stereotyping.

Tonight is my lucky night as I can catch up on the last three episodes and I have Häagendaz in the freezer.

Reward

Crispy, fresh tulips and the sound of coffee brewing. Small things that can make you happy on a Tuesday. Especially after a long roadtrip.

I'm so pleased to be back home, to be able to choose whatever I like from the fridge, to take a bath in my beloved tub, to sleep in my own bed, to watch telly if I want to. Time to celebrate last week's intense work with a.... SEMLA!

Conference in Courmayeur

May be not the ideal weather but still, we are in the Alpes!

Getting started

Time to introduce seventeen managers to our version of leadership development. Ready to go!

Chocolate attracts

That is true for the almost two year old too. After careful removing of all other cereal boxes, pasta and what have you from the cupboard, he found what he was looking for. Nestles cereals - the chocolate balls. All by himself. Obviously chocolate gets most of us to do that little extra.

A la maison

As lovely as it is being away meeting family and friends, cooking delicious food, drinking wine and enjoying the company and conversations without time limits, there is nothing like coming home.

Opening the fridge to cook exactly what you feel like eating. Taking a long, hot bath just because you can. Relaxing in a warm flat, on the couch, listening to some soft music.

My home makes me happy. This is where I really relax. Sometimes it's good to be reminded, not to take it for granted. Small moments of everyday luxury.

Procrastination morning

Anything is better than doing the one piece of work that I have on my to do list today. So this morning I found out which site offers the best deal for Décleor products. I read the reviews of the site and of course couldn't help myself from putting in a "test order". Then it was time to find desirable tickets for upcoming birthday. The siblings-evening-out. Tick. Then what? Ah! Favourite podcast weekly release. The perfect background entertainment while continuing with procrastination tasks like baking a cake, ironing pillowcases and watering plants.

Now I'm done and have about twenty minutes before I need to pack up to go to a class (not a procrastination task but rather a well planned). May be hyper efficient work time?? 

Working from home

Love my boss. She knows when to get you a shrovetide bun.

Stop fighting and be patient

A weekend marked by sickness and the initial reaction to refuse that was the case. If you can argue that every experience is a learning possibility, then this was a lesson in patience, acceptance and surrender. It's not favourite lesson, but it still inspired me to a full yoga class on the topic. Patience to work in balancing positions. Stop fighting, work step by step, back off, start again. Accept that certain days are bad balance days. Perhaps without explanation, perhaps connected to a stressed mind. No matter how strong you are, no matter how flexible you are, balance can be good or bad. Joy to get the message across to a group of twenty five yogis who defied minus fourteen degrees and came to class this morning.

Now they are two

Drinking tea in a Spode is devine. My collection is growing one by one.

My new friend

Time to introduce my latest bargain to the girls. Long wine lunch coming up!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Apparently one of the more common answers today is "blog writer". A profession (you can argue whether this is a profession) that didn't exist ten years ago.

In the late eighties when commercial television was introduced in Sweden one of the most wanted professions was television presenter. Today the profession is dying as some channels have stopped using presenters full stop.

So what is so attractive about being a blog writer? It can't be the writing only as then the answer to the question would be without the "blog". There is something with the communication channel itself whereby we indulge in the perceived lifestyle of a blogger:

The look and feel of their home (when the fireplace is lit, the wine bottle is opened and a plate of charcuteries is laid out), their outfits (always the latest fashion, always high heels), their love life (romantic of course), all the great restaurants they frequent and all the perfectly made coffees they drink. Then there is the relaxing holiday to somewhere exotic followed by the long weekend to a posh skiing resort or a couple of days in NY. 

The "in betweens" don't seem to exist. We happily play along, although we know the "in betweens" have a place in everybody's lives. We just don't want to be reminded of them. 

Sometimes I wonder whether blog writers create situations to have something to write about. The purpose of what they do stop being genuine as there is always a search for the next blog post.

The punchline? At some point the profession will die, I'm sure. Just like the television presenters are soon a rare breed. However, the good old professions like accountant, lawyer, doctor, shop keeper, hairdresser and chef will always be around. And they all need to blog more to market their professions, visualise their lifestyles and demonstrate that a day in an accountant's life also include high heels, trendy restaurants, a beautiful home and long weekends to Verbier. May be then we can get eighteen year olds attention.

Stockholm Ice Bar

Cross country skiing

It still amazes me what is available just around the corner from the city center. Golf in the summer, cross country skiing in the winter. A Sunday filled with feel good activities. Skiing and sun on the nose followed by warm soup and a couple of hours in front of the fireplace with a book, knowing that a ninety minute yoga class is waiting. A Sunday at its best? It doesn't stop here... A possible rendez-vous after class has awakened my curiousity.