VIP in my life

It can take months between our calls or more than a year without meeting up. Even so there is still a deep bond that is hard to explain. It was a long time ago.

I had dinner with the person who once knew me better than anyone in the world.

We didn't make it. But we managed to stay in each other's lives. There is no dependence, there is no guilt or pity, no obligations and there is no need to play games. Our friendship is beyond.

An evening with deep discussions on what really matter. A brisk walk down memory lane not stopping for too long. A splash of sentimentality. A good bye knowing it can take more than a year until next time. Or it could be next week. And it's OK.

Philosophy on a Monday

'When we see a smiling face and feel happy, it is because the smiling face reflects our happiness.' Simple as that.

I'm doing a lot of philosophical reflection at the moment, indulging in some of the books from the reading list of my yoga teacher training. So much is common sense, so why is it so hard to integrate this in the day to day life?

It's like our minds are polluted by negative thinking, crowded with junk thoughts and untrained in simple, clear and beautiful thoughts.

I think this boot camp will do me good. With the risk that I will be a pain for everybody around me when I go through the learning cycle and want to try, test, discuss and dissicate everything coming my way.

Family reunion

Old family reunion combined with spa experience. Can't remember when the five of us, the original family, spent time together without any of our new family members. Almost unheard of but it happens. At least in our family.

Twenty minutes sweating on the exercise cycle, a few strokes in the pool, an hour of blissful massage and finally a looong brunch.

(And no snogging to be seen. Swedes know how to behave in spas as opposed to Italians.)

Saturday in between long weekends

The telephone rang at 9:20 this morning. Not the mobile which is usually on silent at that time. The traditional landline that only my parents call and people visiting some unknown person who seems to have linked his/her hall telephone to my number for reasons I don't know. And Beautiful J.

Twentyfive minutes later I'm having having coffee with Beautiful J in the nearby coffee shop. A lovely start on a Saturday to catch up for half an hour before going ahead with all the errands and housework that I've neglected for the last couple of weeks.

The rest of the day: tax return (sounds worse than it is), making sense of all pension statements (sounds easier than it is), pharmacy, shop and bun baking. The bun baking for mental relaxation.

Now dinner at Sweetest M's.

30 April

Yes! London weekend planned and booked.

28 May

Sex and the City 2!!

Source - filmofilia.com

On my mind right now

London first weekend in May. It's been too long. I was going to wait for my SAS airmiles to provide me with a free flight but they are stuck in the system somewhere and my patience has run out.

To do for tomorrow: book BA flight to London (silent protest and boycott of SAS). After I've found out if my lovely god daughter and her mother are around that weekend...

And the other thing on my mind: next career move. Having had the cream of the cream for two years it's not that easy. So I'm considering practicing the reality of a pay cut starting in April. As a test. Doesn't go well with the planned weekend in London.

Italian spa experience

The grand finale of our skiing/food holiday was a trip to the thermal spa in the village next to Courmayeur, Pré-Saint-Didier.

Bubbles, jet streams, hot and cold water in various shapes and forms. Lovely.

A place for sore muscles and stressed souls. And apparently for lovers who like to make out in public. Is this the Italian way of seasoning their love life? Or is it something from their Catholic heritage meaning they are, unless married, still dispatched to public places to snog and the most naked public place they can think of is obviously the thermal spa??

Beats me, but we decided that it was very inappropriate!

Above the clouds; who could have guessed??

Going up... Not much hope

Cocktail hour!

Rain and delicious food

If there were skiing umbrellas they would have sold out today. The snow was heavy and the work of the piste machines from last night was very hard to spot. The sight was close to non-existing and navigating was like playing hide and seek.

Lucky we have our little favourite Italian restaurant in the slope. We arrived at half past eleven and left around quarter past two. Coffee turned into a food orgy where we mixed pasta, casserole and polenta to the waiter's despair ('normally we eat the pasta seperately'). And of course red wine to bring it all down. Numerous rounds of cards (with pretty little pictures of Courmayeur and the surroundings) and finally we thought we saw the sun and dragged ourselves out for some final runs.

The Italians? No, they didn't even make it to the restaurant today. Apparently they were hiding in the spas according to our waiter. So we were doing quite well in Italian measures.

We only ordered two drinks...

Born smelling like a raspberry

How often do you have to shower when you are on holiday?

It's a luxuary not to have to care and just to be. No worries about make-up and a bad hair can be covered up by any kind of bohemian scarf or a beanie. Of course it helps if you are born clean. Like Adorable. Adorable doesn't have to shower more than once every third day. That's a fact well known by all her friends. And she still smells like a raspberry. Some people are born clean.

Fog and delicious food

Mont Blanc went into hiding today. Surrounded by soft fog it felt surreal knowing the massive mountain was there somewhere overlooking the slopes with all the tiny skiers.

A day with hard core skiing: Adorable and I plus all the Courmayeur ski schools on the slopes. The Italian grown ups shone with their absence as a result of the mixed weather conditions providing a bit of everything except sun. But they were of course fully present in the restaurants.

Tagliatelle with rich tasting ragu, Italian red wine (1/4 became 1/2), tiramisu and strong espresso. An hour and half later we reentered the slopes on doughy legs. Skiing post-lunch was slightly more relaxed and we stayed close to the ski schools and far away from the black runs.

Sponsored by Peak Performance

Skiing next to Mont Blanc

Courmayeur!

Having passed through three countries, we arrived in Italy and the most pittoresque little village on the other side of the Mont Blanc tunnel. A village with interial design stores, Hermès and children's design clothes. The closest we got to skiing today was the skipass purchase, but we are all set for tomorrow, fully equipped with and sponsored by Sweden's most prominent ski wear of course.

And then 'inbetweenlunchanddinner' Italian ham, cheese and bread from the local shop which we enjoyed on our little balcony, trying to save some room for the huge pizza we have visualised for dinner since we left Stockholm this morning.

Skiing holiday or food holiday?

Vanity

The Swedish passport production has been greatly modernised since last time I had to go through the palava. Now I have to live with the result of an on the spot photo, taken by the passport manager over the counter, very unprepared on a Monday after work. But only for five years. EU regulations apparently think you need to update your photo more frequently than once per decade.

The coaching bliss

Talking to my coach, saying everything out loud (well almost) that I've been writing for the last couple of weeks was an energy spark. He agrees with many things that I say, but he also challenges my thinking without criticising or having an agenda of his own. Something you rarely get when discussing with a friend or a colleague.

Most people have a personal agenda, even if they are not consciously pushing it. Be it a need for control, acknowledgement, connection or codependence or even independence. It's there.

We had the most amazing conversation which lasted for two hours. It could have gone on for the rest of the day probably, but reality brought us back to the very pragmatic and down to earth planning of the delivery of our next leadership programme.

Priorities

I was thirty minutes late for a business meeting yesterday. Going from one external meeting to another, I happened to pass Cool P's office. By coincidence she happened to be free. And in spite of the late hour she hadn't had lunch. A spontaneous tête-à-tête catch up on a busy Monday afternoon.

Learning? There is always time if you really want to. It's just down to priorities and this time I figured the consultant could wait. Afterall I still pay him, but the time with Cool P can't be bought.

Unblurred mind

Open heart. Open mind. Open spirit. The foundation for change I believe.

There is no better time to prep for a coaching call than early in the morning before the mind is blurred by external distractions. I think the support from thought provoking questions from a coach is invaluable and I'm surprised not more people have discovered the benefits of coaching.

So the focus this morning is the extracurricular coaching call scheduled on a very short notice.

Monday in March

Monday evening + bar & restaurant + company of lovely girlfriend + two glasses of wine = almost London lifestyle. The only thing missing is the buzz of a crowd. On a Monday evening in March the Stockholmers are still hiding indoors waiting for spring to arrive. Or else they are burning weekend calories in the gym.

Birthday birthday birthday

Bounce in April, Lady Gaga in May and Blue Man Group in September. The result of our tradition to plan a surprise activity for the brother or sister whose birthday it is. The calendar is filling up...

Rewarding housework

2.5 hours of quiet ironing is not too bad. Not that I prefer ironing to seeing my friends and family, but it's a domestic duty that I really don't mind. A perfect moment of quiet silence allowing time for the favourite music, or for catching up on last summer's radio shows with famous and not so famous people sharing their life stories. There isn't really a way to rush the ironing. It takes the time it takes. And the smell of hot, clean cotton with a fragrance of summer flowers is very comforting.

And the feeling of accomplishment when it's all done. Rewarding.

Cold yoga

Practicing yoga in nineteen degrees compared to thirty degrees is a big difference. Trying to work up the heat with persistent breathing and by placing the yoga mat as close as possible to the fireplace. It's still too cold... But the surprise and excitement I felt from managing an unsupported headstand is making up for the lack of heat. Hooray!

New gadget

A small shopping spree at the airport in Bangkok on the return from Koh Ngai resultated in a new camera. Having the luxuary of travelling with a professional film producer, I had expert advice buying a small piece of wonder. I love the look and feel of it. I envision all the arty, creative, fantastic photos I'm going to take. But the threshold to break into the mysteries of how to work it feels like climbing a mountain.

The camera user guide is sooo boring and the only thing I've managed so far is to attach the strap, i.e. the very first step in the 'getting started' section.

I'm seriously considering booking a private lesson with a photographer.

The wonders of subconsciousness and the weekend ahead

It's been a weird week. I've been in a cloud (not on a cloud) slightly detached from everything that is going on around me. Partly jet lagged, partly processing thoughts from my time away. My brain is slow, but in a nice way. I had a call from the headhunter I will never ever work with and I couldn't even remember who he was. He had to reapeat his name twice, mention the job in question and then I finally got it. Isn't that nice how the brain can blank someone completely when you decide it's a person you have no reason to stay in contact with or even be upset with. The footprint is just gone, the memory is neutral and blank.

Met up with my brother and his friends last night - it's been forever - and on the polite icebreaker question 'How is work?' I hear myself saying all sorts of things that I'm thinking of doing. Wow, I've hardly formed the thoughts for myself and here I am sharing them with people I haven't seen for eight months. The result of a deep reflection process that I made space for during the time away and that I now can't stop.

A lovely weekend ahead full of family activities and birthday celebrations. But also an evening with Beautiful J and her little D. And brunch with Little B who is briefly in town before nipping off to busy champagne days mixed with work in the glamorous part of the world where spring is a fact and not just a dream.

White pink weeks

Two weeks and no wine. No alcohol full stop. The temptation on a yoga retreat is limited, but I thought that yesterday's after work would be the obvious opening for a glass of rosé kicking off the spring season. But no. Just didn't feel like it. Stayed with the colour though and filled the glass with cranberry juice instead.

Planning for posh skiing

No wine but in high spirit after successfully complementing next week's flight to Geneva with suitable accommodation and transfer. Something that almost ended up being a city holiday luckily turned into the skiing holiday we have been talking about since October last year.

Courmayeur. The poshest skiing resort in Italy if the testimonials are true. So big focus on packing the right sunglasses.

Healthy dinner for two

Question: wine or no wine? TBD

Change is in the air

I can feel it everywhere. Change is the only thing that is permanent. It's not easygoing comfortable.

Resisting change is doomed to fail. Embracing change is sometimes difficult. May be it's the false pretention that 'no change' equals safety ('at least it can't get worse') that makes us resist it. I'm really trying to welcome change into my life. And I'm really working to accept the uncomfortable feeling that is craving my attention. A feeling of not being in total control. A feeling of decisions being made by somebody else.

We are back to accepting what is. Everything is exactly the way it should be right now. Letting go to make room for a feeling of surrender to something bigger.

Challenge 2010

When I started with yoga I never thought that four years down the line I would consider signing up for a teacher training programme. Well I am. And I've even ordered some of the literature. And I've booked a preliminary flight to the venue where the majority of the training takes place. Yes, it's in a pleasant part of the world. Thailand...

May be this is the learning experience and challenge for the year that I've been looking for.

Really, leadership development and yoga are not that far apart when you think about it. Even so I will probably struggle to make a business case to get the funding from work.

After nine days of complete radio silence

Nine glorious days full of yoga, walks on the beach and swimming in the turquoise sea came to an abrupt end when I landed at Arlanda Airport at 6 am this morning.

The outdoor yoga studio and the fresh pineapple for breakfast felt very far away when I came into the office and kicked off the first meeting of the week.

I'm seriously considering if this is my purpose in life...

Jet lagged, tired and post-holiday depressed it's probably not a good day to decide.