Newborn

I've finally taken a huge step in the right direction and all of a sudden I'm in need of new business cards. MD and chair of the board. Or may be I'll stay with something a bit more low key. Yes, a small detail around revenues remains, but that is a future worry. Right now celebration time of the birth of new company. Feels good!

Happy mini-New-Year

One day left until the Summer 2010 is officially over. A new season with new possibilities and the beginning of a new term. Now is the last chance to incorporate those New Year's resolutions.

September is like a mini New Year; the gym is full of people starting their new lives, the newspaper's property section is flooding with objects from people in need of renewing their living situation and the shops are full of 'must haves' for a happier life. School start can take many different shapes.

Are scented erasers still available or are they a past memory defining the school start for people born in the seventies?

Le week-end

If someone asked me to describe a perfect weekend, I think I would use this one as an example. Perhaps with a few sprinkles, but still this would get quite close.

An early Friday evening that started with a run followed by a yoga session. Nothing extreme, but a little something to get work out of the system and give room to a carefree weekend feeling. A quiet but warm night with Beautiful J and Sweetest M.

Kicked off Saturday with a stimulating walk and meaningful conversation with Sweetest M. Our friendship has grown even stronger after a long, memorable summer when we shared both hopes and sorrows. The rest of the day was devoted to the continental part of town and more specifically to some stylish shops stocked up on temptations. And I fell for quite a few of them, mostly Danish. An evening spent with Adorable in the name of culture and class. Premier of a classic play with a modern touch. But really, it was the actor we were after. He didn't disappoint us. A glass of Sancerre in a classy bar accompanied by a long analysis of what constitutes unhelpful dating patterns.

A Sunday morning treat from the next door bakery and then an hour spent with the newspaper. Time to catch up on the phone, time to potter about, time to relax. A run to a new playlist and a long yoga session with Little B. And now getting ready for a Sunday night movie on the telly.

Un week-end parfait. The sprinkles will follow in weekends to come.

Bonus

The planned bar hopping turned into an evening at home with tea, wine, sweets and cheese doodles. A much-welcomed end of the week in the lovely company of two slipper friends in one evening.

Frogs from a consultant

After the one hour long meeting we all stood up: me, my male colleague and the two consultants who we had invited for a sales pitch. The consultants were both in their late fifties and formally dressed.
Consultant: 'Would you like us to take out the coffee cups and glasses somewhere?'
Me: 'Don't worry, just leave everything.'
Consultant: 'Are you sure someone will help you clean the room?'
Me: 'Really, don't worry. And if worse comes to worst I can also do it myself.'
Consultant: 'Well, yes. You look like you are capable of having a clean home.'
Me in my head: 'Remember, the man is from a different generation. He doesn't know better. And he has temporarily forgotten that I could be a potential new client who will pay him to do a job.'

Notes in my summary of pros and cons of the different consulting firms: Have they passed their best-before date?

Scottish wisdom

'Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength.' A.J. Cronin

Somehow soothing and there is a lot to it, but still can't help thinking that we wouldn't be equipped with an unhelpful feeling.

Bad mode efficiency

Protecting the world from my mode and protecting me from the world. Today I shut myself in a conference room. Alone. It started by me chasing out the people who were already occupying the room. That was a mild consequence of my mode today.

Don't know what to blame, my job situation or PMS. Whatever it is, it equals effectivity and productivity in addition to bad mode.

If you were a banker...

For how long would you continue investing in something where the Return On the Investment was negative?

The key to energy leakage is to always have a positive ROI. Invest energy, but always make sure you get more energy back than your initial investment. Using your body reserves or using external energy, e.g. a friend, is a fatal mistake that longterm will lead demolition and unhappiness.

An analogy that I happened to come across just now. Meaningful coincidence.

Fuel for change

A day full of frustration, irritation and negativity. Mostly caused by people's prestige and lack of communication. When they finally speak they try to find a third party to blame to avoid direct confrontation, taking responsibility and any kind of apology, which could be used against you... My aspiration to always choose a positive attitude was all of a sudden forgotten and I was drawn into this destructive and unnecessary scenario. The day wasn't really improved by the fact that I spent most of it in a conference room without windows.

Perfect fuel for my planned change and may be a sign to speed up the process.

I tried to escape the uneasiness the day left me with by going for a run, but I can still taste the bitter aftertaste. May be I went for the wrong escape route. May be I should have gone for a glass (bottle?) of wine instead of my jogging shoes.

What if

August is big on family birthday celebrations. Three out of four nieces/nephews are born within a five day timespan. November is obviously a very fruitful month. So today was spent eating cake, playing hide and seek and chasing the two year old around the garden. But the best bit was a quiet dog walk with the soon nine year old (I guess December works too) and our conversation on how to deal with a herd of seventythree Dobermanns and Rottweilers, should we meet one. The discussion started with how two dogs meeting need to be on equal terms, i.e. either on a lead or not. And then we ended up in the herd of seventythree.

You are what you read

On my coffee table right now: Light on yoga by Ieyngar, The Living Gita - The Complete Bhagavad Gita, British Grazia, InStyle and American Condé Nast Traveler. Translation: wannabe chic yoga traveller with an English accent. But right now pretty far from that self image. Career planning, golf, wine and late evenings seem to have taken over. Qué será será. And in the mean time I'm smiling.

In my heart

Tears, emptiness, perplexity and sorrow. Warmth, love, empathy and connection. A room full of her friends and family. Words trying to describe the unique and authentic person she was with all her loved qualities. To say goodbye to life as it was, to keep the precious memories. Deeply missed but always in our hearts. For as long as we remember her she is still alive through us. We will remember. Always.

Again

I'm playing Tetris with my calendar again. A recurring game that works quite well in Microsoft Outlook. To make sure nobody interferes from the side and fill up available space that I've been saving for a perfectly shaped occasion, I have a great blocking system and some secret codes. You could say I've taken Tetris to the next level. Sounds more attractive than saying that I'm obsessed with controlling my time and planning.

Guess my profession

If the game was "guess my profession by listening to my voicemail messages", then I think mine would be a long haul after today. One actor, one film maker and one headhunter.

I could be a desirable actress, chased by a headhunter (assuming there are headhunters specialising in film casting) for an incredible new leading role. The film maker, who I've worked with before, is keen to make sure I understand the grandness of the role. And of course my co-actor wants to know that I'm in before he signs his contract.

Or not.

Worth a try sitting on the train one hour late from unglamorous Gothenburg.

To be the potential client

Part of today was spent on liaising with search firms and recruitment consultants regarding a new assignment. The speed by which they returned my calls and the flexibility they demonstrated when I suggested meeting dates... Wow, it's nice to be the client! Now I have to listen to their sales pitches; the not so interesting part of the job as they are same same but different (in their opinion). What will separate the wheat from the chaff is the 'click test'. Will we click in the meeting or not? That's all that matters.

Updated match results

2-0 to yoga mat.

Puddings

The proof of the pudding is in eating it. Lick a little and see how it tastes. If it tastes good, eat a little more.

Question: If it's delicious, should you eat it all or save some fore later and make it last for longer? And should you share it with others?

Tee time manager AND match maker

Probably one of the best golf rounds this year. Don't know if it was the relaxed (exhausted) state I was in or the company. For once I didn't mind having someone joining our ball. The tee time manager did a great job marketing the fellow player he had paired us up with, explaining whose son he was and how much we would appreciate the company of this great guy. Well he was right. Shame the fellow player had a girlfriend and shame I had brought a date. But it became clear where my dating is going and that is nowhere.

We did us proud

We outstayed our welcome in two bars in one evening, which drastically increased our track record of number of times we've been the closing party that the staff can't wait to get rid. Seemed like a good idea last night. Today? The golf score will soon tell, it's just a question of interpreting it the right way. To be continued.

Suggestion for a Friday afternoon

A perfect Friday afternoon is bathing in sunshine and one can leave work early to go for a run. If there is energy left and need for a stretch, then one can do a gentle yoga session. After that, why not meet up with girlfriends for dinner (may be delicious prawns and chilled white wine?) in the privacy of a newly acquired flat that needs a grand opening. And the icing on the cake could well include drinks in trendy bar where the party is merged with a party of the opposite sex.

Tick, done!

Reminiscence

The surreal feeling of RSVP to a funeral. I have never done it before and it feels unnatural in a cold and secluded way. I know it will be a warm and beautiful afternoon filled with affinity and love. But there will also be the reminder of how cruel life can be and the unexpected trials that wait for all of us in one shape or another. Humility and greatfulness for waking up every morning.

Late summer, precious friend and meaningful conversation

A bike ride through central Stockholm last night and I concluded that the summer is still going, people are still on holiday and the streets, including the cycle paths, are boiling with tourists. The goal in sight was the Old Town where my friend was waiting.

Our friendship started in an unusual fashion when he the second time we met showed his hospitality and generousity through letting me move into his flat for a couple of months when I was in transit between countries and jobs. The friendship grew and although we don't see each other very often, it's always a joy to spend an evening with him. A number of times I have asked him to get a male view on anything that bewilders me at the moment. It's always a very open and honest conversation. Yesterday our discussion stretched from professionalism and networking to respect and appreciation in a functional relationship, including the indispensable art of compromising.

An evening filled with esteem and the scents and sounds of late summer with the approaching autumn around the corner. An autumn full of prospects and possibilities.

TV or yoga mat?

A moment of pride when looking at the TV listings before switching it on, to then decide it's not worth switching on, but instead turning to the yoga mat for a session of yin yoga. Doesn't always happen as the TV is a real magnet for unwinding. I'm working to move those magnets from the TV to the yoga mat and today proved to be successful. 1-0 to yoga mat! Counting starts today as score would otherwise be too depressing for poor yoga mat.

Be busy, busy bee

The attack of a bee swarm is probably the best description of today. Expecting a day of gentle assimilation to the office environment, getting on top of the inbox and the number of invoices waiting to be signed off. Perhaps a phone call or two, but more or less a day to slowly remind myself of what I'm supposed to be doing. Instead the meetings followed one after another. The TO DO list grew longer and longer and all of a sudden my next couple of weeks are booked to the point that they are overbooked.

There is no stress in the present moment, only in the worrying for future or brooding over past. Reminder to self: be present!

Real life Monopoly

The uncomfortable feeling you get on a Sunday when the realisation hits you that the weekend has come to an end and the workweek is calling for your attention. But now it's times ten. The Sunday blues has hit big time as a result of the few hours left of the summer holiday. Being inside an office for nine hours a day... Or as the Monopoly rules put it: Go to jail. Without passing GO.

Monsters continued

To teach a foreigner, in this case an elegant English girlfriend, how to eat crayfish the 'Swedish way' proved to be an interesting affair. Suck the tummy? Don't think so! It's not the most glamorous dinner and I guess there is a lot of messing about, chewing and sucking on all sorts of bodyparts. May be you need to be Swedish to really appreciate the deliciousness of these red monsters and the procedure to make sure you don't miss out on any of the precious juice and meat.

Back in town, back on the dating scene

Is there a reason to become suspicious when a date suggests a gay bar for the first drink? I didn't think so, but my date did and apologised to forestall any unwanted reactions. One drink became two, gay bar was traded in for Spanish bar, tapas and Sangria. Don't know about the sparks, but you can't have it all in one evening I suppose!

Some people never go out of fashion

Kate Moss fronts her first Vogue cover, March 1993. Oh so innocent. Seventeen years and twentynine Vogue covers later she still has it. I believe life experience makes people's looks more interesting. Footprints of happy and unhappy times can't be all airbrushed away.

Delicious monsters

Sweet little monsters from the bottom of the lake. A good reason to keep swimming and not putting the feet down for a rest. And right now they are transforming from black to red helped by crayfish experts, i.e. sister and brother-in-law.

First of August - a day for wishes

Rain and sunshine at the same time. Make a wish and it will come true.

Priceless...

...when your two year old nephew comes running after you, grabs your hand and says your name with a smile. Twentyfour hours of quality bonding and our relationship has grown to a different level.