Happiness in a box

More specifically, in a DVD box. The second series of a Danish crime drama is now in my possession.

The Bolognese is cooking on the stove. The icecream is waiting in the freezer. The red wine is already in the glass... All the ingredients for a night in. Well, almost.

Productive?

Depends on which KPI we are following.

Supplement to previous post

I had to throw in some picture evidence of my busy teacup. While I've been writing, the rain outside has changed into snow. I'm enjoying my day in even more. Time to top up that tea!

Remember to be grateful

In my past life (read: as an employed), I remember waking up on dark, wet mornings thinking that I would do anything to be able to stay in. To not have to get ready, to just have a day for myself at home, drinking tea, pottering, listening to radio. Just being really.

Guess what? Today is that day.

I woke up this morning, without the alarm, knowing that I could have gone back to sleep if I wanted to. The rain hammered on the windows and it was still dark outside. A calendar with no meetings, no musts. So I decided to give myself a day off.

My new teacup has a busy day as I keep filling it with different flavoured teas. My pottering activities have so far consisted of going through the Christmas presents I have started to buy for my lovely god children, nieces and nephews, getting the Christmas decorations from the basement storage, reading magazines, listening to favourite podcasts. All while the mobile phone stays silent and the emails only drop in occasionally.

As the rain keeps pouring down, the rest of the day will also be spent indoors doing some or all of the following activities:

• Finding new music on Spotify. After I have activated a Spotify account.
• Making chocolate biscuits. Only if I don't have to go outside for any of the ingredients.
• Some washing, cleaning and ironing. Not because I have to, but because it's a treat to be surrounded by that fresh smell and feeling.
• Yoga in front of the fireplace.

Does this sound too good to be true? Well, that's why I have to write it down.

Because there will be a day when this is far from reality. There will be a day when I want to be able to remind myself that there was I time when I had the choice. So that I can feel grateful for what I had on days when staying in bed is not an option, when making chocolate biscuits on a weekday would never make it to the list-of-things-to-do-when-having-time-off and when sitting on the couch with magazines and a cup of tea, without anyone or anything demanding my attention, feels like a surreal dream.

Believe me when I say that I'm grateful. Today I think I have drawn the longest straw.

Coming up...

London!

Only a couple of weeks to go. The plans are as follows:

Friday:

• Arrival at sweet B&B in Belgravia around lunch time. With Kings Road around the corner, that's probably where I will start. Or may be Harvey Nichols...
• Pre-afterwork drinks with special friend from the past. We meet up about once a year, but we can still rely on the foundation we built as teenagers. 
• Afterwork drinks, alias the pub. Meeting up with the old gang who I used to work with, designing and implementing training programmes around the globe. The demanding boss stopped working a few years ago and the girl who never wanted to have children is now pregnant. So there are some changes to what used to be. I don't expect the alcohol intake to have changed though.
• Instead of the local Indian which would normally follow an evening in the pub, we decided to book a table at the same Belgravia pub.

Saturday:

• Shopping continued. High Street Kensington and Westbourne Grove.
• Meeting up with my English family for lunch and cocktails in Wimbledon. Just like in olden days.  
• Afternoon moves into evening and more food and wine, all in the same lovely company.

Sunday:

• Yoga at Triyoga in Chelsea, a lovely place on Kings Road.
• Brunch at Kings Road, possibly at le Pain Quotidien.
• An afternoon filled with possibilities. Cinema, museum or just people watching. Early night.

Monday:

• Working with my favourite consultant, preparing for leadership programme starting in January. 
• Dinner at the Seafood Bar at Heathrow before flying back to Stockholm.

Quote from guess who?

"Later that day I got to thinking about fairytales. What if Prince Charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a healthcare package and a baby from her local sperm bank?"

May be a new business idea? To write alternative endings to the classical fairytales and mirror a more modern society. That may get the girls at nursery to alter their princess games. 

Compensating

A day without light... Tips to keep your mood up:
1. Buy a new teacup (I admit, I've been influenced by the blogosphere to go for this one)
2. Treat yourself to a couple of saffron buns (it's OK to have more than one)
3. Listen to Swedish schlager music (whatever you do, stay away from any kind of melancholy tunes)
4. Stay in, do your work from the couch if you can (nobody needs to know that's where you are)

This seems to be working for me. With the exception of a trip to the city center to deliver a yoga session (and to buy a new teacup!), I haven't left my flat. I move from one couch to another, switching between emails, reading of much neglected leadership literature and prepping of new classes.

OK, one more exception as I also left the couch for the kitchen to cook the starter for tomorrow's girls' dinner party. Two courses done, one to go. Looking forward to a Friday evening high on energy and filled with conversations stretching from politics (very little), job hunting (probably more), men hunting (may be some), waxing (we always seem to end up here at some point during the evening) and much more.

Safe to book...

The bankruptcy threat is over. For this time. SAS is still flying and may be it is safe to bet that they will survive until March 2013? We are planning a repeat holiday to Austria. Why change a winning concept?

It's not always what it sounds like

It's 3D!

Saturday with my nephew

I'm looking forward to be enchanted by the world of Walt Disney. A perfect activity for Auntie and second youngest nephew when it's grey and wet outside. Together we will get absorbed by TinkerBell and the Secret of the Wings. The Saturday continues with homemade pizza and sleepover. And of course "lördagsgodis". 

Happy Friday

Quotes from today

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you want.

You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backwards.

Steve Jobs, Stanford University 2005

Your legacy

If you were writing your speech for your fifties birthday party, what would you want it to say?

We introduced the exercise by showing the famous Stanford address by Steve Jobs, followed by a brief summary of the top regrets of the dying recorded by an Australian palliative nurse.

Then we sent our participants out on a walk in the park to reflect on their dreams and hopes. To consider their legacy.

Big impact.

Tomorrow's intro

Breathe out what you no longer need, what you are ready to let go of. Create space and give room for what you want more of. Now breathe in what you want to fill that space with.

Every exhalation is an reminder to let go of what is no longer needed. Every inhalation can be used to fill your body with what you want more of.

Exhale stress, bad mood, tiredness. Inhale energy, light, happiness.

A small exercise to connect breath, body and mind. To be used tomorrow morning.

Who is happy?

The evening was planned months ago. Dinner with the girls from 'the olden days'. Some of them I haven't seen for years. Six of us around a table. Where do you start? I suggested doing the round, just like a New Year's Eve round. Tell us about your life, good and bad, and let us know if you are happy.

Six very different lives were described, but I think everybody finished their resume with "but it's all good now, I'm happy!". Stressed out parenthoods, disillusioned careers, dysfunctional relationships, child disabilities, stretched finances. But also new business ideas, big families, pretty homes, hope and love.

Two of the girls are still close to me, even if we don't see each other more than a couple of times per year. We connect and the conversation is unambiguous and purposeful.

The other girls have drifted further and further away and I wonder how true their "but it's all good now, I'm happy!" really is. Or may be it is. May be it's just me having a hard time visualising myself being happy in their situation and therefore I struggle to understand how they can possibly be honest when they say they are. They could of course be in denial. Or faced by the peer pressure.

It was a sweet evening, moderate in drinking and wrapped up before eleven. Quite different from our evenings out twenty years ago.

Today's achievement

One step closer to Christmas.

The colour of the season

What is the impact of seeing pumpkins everywhere? Or is it a coincidence that I went for orange gloves?

Come Christmas and it's time for the red dress. Of course.

Pain

It's easier to accept pain when you know it's good for you. If you believe there is pain that can be good. I believe a really good massage, like a deep connective tissue massage, involves healthy pain. The release that follows is worth the agony. Deep breathing and a determined mind convince the body that it's OK not to fight-or-flight.

The effect of this morning's massage is still working through my muscles, just like she said it would. So tonight I'm leaving the body to its own devices, working along, while I'm planning on catching up on a number of episodes of Homeland. I'm addicted.

Being true to who you are

He told me that he was thinking of jumping in front of the train. A thought that passed through his head; the easy way out. Then it would be over and he wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

This is someone I admire for his integrity, honesty, intellectual and creativity. He is one of those amazing people who in the right context could be anything he like. But he is stuck. Either in the passed or in the illusion of the present. That is something he is trying to figure out. Meanwhile he is hurting. Sometimes he convinces himself that all is good. He steps back into the illusion. Just to realise it's not for him.

It strikes me that so many people are probably living in an illusion. Suppressed feelings working to get some attention, to get you on the right track. But restricted by fear, the suppression continues. All the energy is spent suppressing. All the focus is on doing rather than being. The more you engage the mind in activity, the harder it is to hear the signals from deep within. There will be a day when the signals can't be neglected anymore. 

Not my words

From three very different sources.

I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. 

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. 

The heart hallucinates and your vision becomes blurred. Eventually, there comes a time when you see things as they are and eventually old scars will heal. It's time to surrender and return to the path that was meant to be.