The yoga classroom

Welcoming the new comers

One after the other they came sleepwalking down to the pool. The rest of the group arrived early morning yesterday. A few hours of sleep and then they fought the sleep deprivation and jetlag and joined us, the veterans, by the poolside. The speed and stress from Sweden and Norway had obviously followed them to Kerala. One million questions about how things work, what to order, where to swim. Stress over the anatomy exam, studying muscles and physiology although their eyes could hardly focus on the hand in front of them.

Sweetest M and I went into hiding when the questions became too many and the ripples on the previously so calm water became too harassing. Soon they will be absorbing the Indian spirit, the tensions will melt in the sun and the speed will be adapted to a more comfortable pace. But there is no doubt that the energy has shifted.

Part two is about to kick off

The holiday is over and we have come to day one of the second block of the yoga teacher training. The routine Sweetest M and I have had for the last week is about to change. The early start will continue of course, but instead of quietly enjoying a cup of tea in the company of notebooks and pens, it’s now time to kick off every day with 90 minutes of yoga practice. And the hours by the pool where we have been reading and preparing will be switched for hours in the classroom where our understanding of the literature will be discussed and challenged. Instead of quiet meals and private conversations we will now join in with the big group and adapt the conversations thereafter.

We have a soft start though as the anatomy exam on New Year’s Eve is already a tick done for us. Instead we are discussing what kind of massage or beauty treatment we should book us in for while the others are sweating over muscles in Latin and the impact of yoga on the parasympathetic nervous system.

So in a way the holiday is continuing. But with less flexibility and a different speed.

The life scale to find balance

I believe that to know balance you have to loose balance from time to time. To define and feel happiness you need to know what the opposite feels like. We strive for a balanced life; be it family-me time balance, saving-consumption balance or work-life balance. And when we get too little me time, consume more than we can afford and work longer hours than there is in a day, we may feel uneasy, restless or even unhappy. Or unbalanced. So then we look for a way to balance ourselves again in the constant search for a better life, the life where all our aspirations and hopes are fulfilled. Where there is a never-ending flow of happiness and love. The life that doesn’t exist.

The One Million Dollar question is how to appreciate the unbalances in between the balances. A small saying in search for the answer:

To loose balance in love is to live balance in life.

May be to be balanced in one area you need to be unbalanced in another. So rather than lookin for the unbalances, look for the balances... May be it's as simple as that.

Let's just say we felt slightly underdressed

Medicine for body and soul

We are on a health trip really. No meat; there isn’t much to choose from to begin with. Hardly no coffee; I’m not complaining but the cup in the morning proves to be just enough. No alcohol; with the exception of half a bottle of beer on Christmas Eve and I’m guessing we may even a full bottle each on New Years Eve. Plenty of yoga topped up with some swimming. Add fresh fruit and vegetables, time to sleep, relax and reflect and the health trip is complete. The bonus is the Ayurvedic massage for those who are in favour of being soaked in oil. We have concluded that Swedish massage beats the Indian version.
All in all, a retreat for body and soul. It’s not just the temperature. There is something else that makes the air soft and caressing. Something that makes the body and mind all relaxed and flowing.

The lack of sound of silence

Woken up by a chaos of competing loudspeakers filled with tunes and singing for the morning prayer. It’s loud. It’s in your face. The sounds of nature are suffocated by manmade sound. Every morning it starts around five and goes on until eight o’clock. This is what they have; every day in their lives it’s the same. They never wake up to a quiet silence. It takes some getting used to.

Words to describe a small part of India

It’s like all impressions are seasoned to be extra spicy. The colours are of the brighter version, like everything has been pained in the strongest touch. Surrounded by sounds from nature and the tunes of life where most of it happens under the open sky. Calls for prayer, calls for attention. Silence needs a new definition. Or it has to be carried within.

The smells and scents make your nostrils vibrate. The opposite of the smell of snow. The exotic taste of Indian cooking. There is no hiding, there is no free space.

Contrasts. Excessive food and water next to the complete lack of the same. Cool, clean and fresh next to damp, filth and poverty. How to accept and enjoy the beauty while the beast is your neighbour seems to be the Indian challenge. How to be generous and true and make a difference where it really does make a difference seems to be another.

Will giving a school pen to a child on the beach make a difference or is it just a way to keep guilt on a more comfortable distance? “At least I did some good today, so now I can enjoy this delicious meal”. I don’t know.

The sounds, smells, visions, tastes constantly demand your attention. The contrasts which put an edge to everything. There is nothing you can do, or want to do, to avoid it. Just accept to be overtaken by the Indian spirit and go with the Indian flow.

Christmas Eve 2010

Doha, Qatar

Was I ever asleep?

Waking up after a predictable sleepless night. Going to bed with a number of big questions playing in my head, the brain naturally continued to its own device when all I wanted was to have break and drift off to a dreamless sleep.

Two candles and a large cup of tea. Supported by the diary from the last couple of months and a moment of quiet reflection, and eventually some recognition of what it is that I need right now. Knowing that the uneasy feeling is exactly what it should be. Knowing that the way forward couldn't be any different. Slowly the questions are being formulated and with that the road with milestones are becoming visible again.

To be continued in a café later this morning.

Cream cakes complete

Geography lesson

With less than three days to go, I thought I'd check out exactly where in India I'm going. Having been asked a few times, I've made up the standard answer "Kerala, south of India". When I get follow-up questions like "So you are close to Sri Lanka, no?", or "How far away from Bombay are you?" I realise I have no idea.

Now that's resolved! Flying into Trivandrum, the capital of Kerala, which is located on the west side near the extreme south of the mainland. The resort is close to Kovalam, known to be "the paradise of the south". Sounds good enough to me.

And although Sri Lanka doesn't look too far away on the map I have a feeling it's a rather lengthy and challenging boat trip to make. Bombay is 1 543 km away, so that rules out any city tours or shopping trips. Good to know!

The cream cakes are growing

Grateful and happy

Happiness is to wake up with a smile and the feeling "I'm so lucky". I'm so lucky for my loving family. The long family lunch yesterday, including my oldest friend who is family in mind but not in blood, is just one more dear example. Warm in heart by conversation and closeness and in body by gulasch and candles. Youngest nephew with his contagious laughter. Family dog competing for attention. Appreciation. Affection. Attachment.

Surprise visit from dear D all of a sudden in my hallway. Unexpected text messages from friends in the past. Getting the girls together for champagne and starter before continuing to the restaurant where we clearly laughed too much for the neighbouring tables liking.

A birthday to remember and a wonderful takeoff for life as one year older than the day before.

It started at 9 am

Beautiful J and little D ringing on door at 9 am with a surprise cake. Laugh or cry? Or a bit of both.

A balcony full of cream cakes

How not to do a sales pitch

Three hours into dinner and I still hadn't brought myself to ask her the one question I had in mind when I contacted her. A door opener to a potential client. A possibility to get a meeting with Mr Seniorresponsibleforall. It just felt wrong. Like I had tricked her into having dinner with me on false pretenses. As if I wasn't interested in hearing about her and having an engaging conversation over a light dinner.

When she finally asked me, after three hours of chatting about everything and nothing, if I had anything special on my mind when we booked this get-together I simply answered "No..."

Yet she must have known.

I clearly have some work to do when it comes to sales pitching.

Tick!

First exam done. Antomy studies are now put to rest and Sanskrit studies are brought to focus. It was probably a good idea I didn't know how much studying was involved before I signed up for this instructor training programme. But in less than a week the studies will take place far away from snow and darkness...

The flying Christmas tree

Every morning I have the luxury of a flying Christmas tree outside the window. A very smart move of the construction company to decorate the otherwise rather disturbing crane with some christmassy ambience.

Taking stock on uniqueness

So what was it then? December 15 (not 16) 2010 - once in a lifetime. Scary. And the same goes for every day. Once it's passed it will never come back. Born at sunrise, dead by sunset (well, may be a little bit later wintertime in Scandinavia). So to collect something that is unique for every single day should really be a given.

Work? No, can't say it felt special or unique in any way.
Gym? Even less so.
Friends etc.? Well, an unexpected text message is probably the landmark in terms of today's uniqueness.

What it means and what happens next is part of another day's uniqueness.

Open mind on a unique Wednesday

And then there are days when you wonder: what will make this day unique? How will I remember December 15 2010 to be able to say "that was the day when...". Today's mission: find out the uniqueness of a normal Wednesday in December.

First Christmas present

Can a five-hour meeting with fourteen people ever be efficient? Everybody contributes a little, everybody listens a little, everybody drifts off a little. I dare say that nobody is completely present for five hours. A nice reward at the end of the meeting was our Christmas presents. It wasn't an iPad but it was delicious.

Christmas party number two this week

More children than adults and more food and sweets than we could possibly eat. Time for adults to talk and children to play. My youngest goddaughter clearly established that we haven't seen each other since last summer, which is a looong time ago. No excuses felt relevant when I looked into her pretty little face. A mental note to become more present in her life. One of many New Year's resolutions for 2011.

Christmas party number one this week

With a small man with a lot of attitude but also a lot of self-irony. Preceded by an Asian meal. An evening that exceeded expectations, especially when small man sang the old favourite 'King for a day'. ...it's worth living poorly for a while if you can be king in the bar for one night...

All of a sudden we regressed to our teens and early twenties. Flashbacks. Some good and some forgotten.

It started as expats in London

Months since the last time. Much has happened since. But it doesn't matter. We are as close as ever. A long lunch with tears and laughing and a sweet Baby F to gold-plate our reunion.

We met thirteen years' ago when we were just about to embark on the journey to life as an expat Swede. Many times did we meet in The Dome, a French restaurant chain where you could eat a two course meal for £9.99, to share the ups and downs of our week. And just as many times did we enjoy the posh London places to wine and dine with various groups of people who were passing through London or London residents who were, just like us, taking this extravagant life for granted. Fun it was. Friendship grew. And friendship lasted.

Outnumbered by a twelve year old

To do the math homework with a twelve year old and recognise that he is quicker than you in mental calculations. A combination of admiration and harsh realisation of the impact from years of using calculators. All of a sudden my accounting days seem very far away. Again, nothing to do with getting older.

Random

Fire, spice or just life? To sometimes stir things up. To face challenges or fears. Not having an intention, just be. Knowing that a full month with plenty of time for contemplation and reflection is around the corner. But now is now.

One lowlight and two highlights

Today's lowlight:

• Missed the rare occasion of catching Charming J when she was in town. Something called work required attention and I couldn't escape for an othewise tempting afternoon coffee.

Today's highlights:

• Registration of mynewcompany domain, website and email. That means I now exist in cyperspace with a professional identity, as opposed to my otherwise random presence in the social media environment.
  
• Sweating on the treadmill. Sometimes loud music and sweat is the best clearing of the mind there is.
  

Study, study, study...

History and muscles, sanskrit and latin. And now some practice. My admiration for all yoga instructors has grown to a deeper level.

Sweet Pooh

About making an effort. Stepping outside the comfort zone. Engaging with people, even though the communication is halting. Sometimes wondering, why bother. Then Pooh's naive but still mindful words convey a dimension that can be as simple as ever or as complicated as you make it.

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”

Winnie the Pooh

Christmas party number two in the same week

This time the big version, including Christmas buffet and a live band. Polite conversations, giggles with the girls, football talk with the guys and a few pirouettes on the dance floor. And then I played Cinderella (the early version who needs to leave long before midnight) and disappeared off to home sweet home.

Somehow the Christmas parties lost their glory after I left the UK. May be I'm missing the mandatory Christmas hat and cracker? Because it's not about getting older...

Kitchen action and team dinner

Q: How many chefs can work in my kitchen at the same time?
A: Four plus two cold-buffet manageresses preparing the starter just outside the picture.